I always think that I'll have a choice about being sick. Seems like in radio I was always able to work to some degree, even when I was sick. Or I could at least voicetrack ahead or get logs done so that I knew I could be sick. I had thought about being sick this week at work, but there was so much to do and so many programs due and a holiday weekend ahead to rest up in, I wasn't seriously thinking about being sick.

But my body was. I'll put the details of the day Thursday so someone can tell the coroner...

I forgot to eat breakfast or was hurried from typing a big report before work. I at a Sweet and Salty Almond bar about 10 a.m. for breakfast. God, I love those things and wish I could eat six of them at a time.

For lunch, I brought my little low-cal ham sandwich and an apple, so I ate that about 1 p.m. I left work about 5:45 and went to Momo's to see Eric Lindell, but he was sick and didn't make his own show. It was his band and they weren't what I wanted to see, but I drank a Shiner at Momo's at 6 p.m. (beer #1).

I left there about 6:45 and went to Shady Grove to see Paul Thorn. I expected to meet up with Frenchy and Mark and others there. I went in and talked to the sound crew and the drummer, who is a friend of Mark's, and then needed to claim my seats so I was out there and had beer number 2 about 7:10 p.m.

Frenchy showed up and ordered a big basket of greasy French fried and I helped eat them. Mark drank whiskey and I had 2 tiny sips of it through the night.

Paul Thorn was absolutely wonderful, as always, though it began to rain and then really started pouring down. We didn't budge. As long as he was singing, we would stay. I had beer #3 (which is a little beyond what I would normally have) about 8:30 p.m.

Rain finally washed out the show so we paid up and got out and went home. Hard rain, hard to drive, and Mark was trying to get me on the phone, half unsuccessfully, so my damn phone kept ringing. Highly stressful drive. I got home and showered and put on dry clothes. Mark came in with Popeye's chicken and we watched TV (once we got it going, the cable seemed to be out, but it was our TV connections instead). I ate one piece of Popeye's. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying TV, I'm not "drunk," and it is a normal evening.

About 11, I got inordinantly tired and decided I needed to go to bed. I took my handful of normal nighttime pills (calcium, Tylenol arthritis, Benadryl) and went to bed. I think I slept fitfully for 30 minutes and then I was burping a lot and tasting all that grease from the fries and chicken and feeling like something toxic was in my stomach. I thought about Pepto and Maalox and things like that and then thought that those charcoal pills would be the answer.

I got up and went to the kitchen, passing Mark and saying hey, and took 3 charcoal pills at the kitchen sink. Then I got fuzzy headed and said, "Whoa, I'm dizzy." Mark said, "Sit down," and I said, "I can't" (though I don't really remember that part).

Next thing I know it was like when someone is waking me up from sleep and Mark was saying my name and I was in his arms on the kitchen floor. I said, "Did I pass out?" and he said, "Yes you did." He says he came in and I had my back to the sink and just keeled over into his arms. Thank goodness he was there to catch me and I didn't crack my head on the table or the tile floor.

I lay on the kitchen floor a while and had him get me something to throw up in, but I didn't. I just felt nauseous and so tired. Finally, I got up and went to bed (after much discussion of going to the ER).

That was Thursday night and Friday morning I called work and left a message that I was sick. I hated to be sick on the Friday before a holiday weekend, but there was no NOT being sick. I called into work again about 1 p.m., but still no answer and I left her another message. Mark, meanwhile, had a big show in town so he had to go to work early. He called during the day and checked on me and came home for a bit in the afternoon. I got up and made myself some toast at least once during the day, but mostly I slept. He came home and took a nap and left again about and I slept on until 10 p.m. I finally came to enough later to read a while, but mostly I hadn't felt like a darn thing all day long -- no TV, no computer, no reading.

Saturday was slightly better, though still exhausted and sometimes woozy. I managed to watch football some, I ate 2 bowls of pasta with butter and parmesan, and I watched the whole movie "The Time Traveler's Wife" (and just bawled). I took my blood pressure late in the day and it was 125 over 76 or something that seemed normal enough. Later, though, I was changing the sheets and got woozy and stopped and laid down and took it and it was 145 over 96 with 92 bpm or something much higher like that. I rested and finished the bed and went to bed and read a long long time.

When I finally was tired or reading, I couldn't seem to sleep, so I got up and took a Dramamine. I hadn't had anything other than Ibuprofen throughout all of this (and no IBs until Saturday morning). The Dramamine seemed to knock me out and I slept hard through the night with lots of wild dreams.

Now it is Sunday morning and I feel about as normal as I do most Sundays. I haven't eaten too much in 2 days and yesterday I was down to about HGW +4.8, but this morning it was =6.5 or so. I would love to see HGW-1 again someday. I'll try to keep my eating under control now post-sick and see if it will go down some more.

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Well, that was certainly a long boring story, but this is for me and I wanted to get the details down in case it happens again and I can compare.

Otherwise this week, I continued to be pissed at the radio station for non-payment. She finally emailed on Tuesday that she was sorry that they were waiting for a big payment, but one check was going into the mail that day and another would go out Friday. No call from him to return my message. No email from him either, which pisses me off. So Wednesday I do get a check from them and I finally open it before going to bed and it is only for the 8/15 invoice, forgetting all about the 8/1 invoice. I emailed her again and called him again. She emailed back all confused, but, bottom line, I finally got the 8/1 payment yesterday so now they only owe me for the 8/31 invoice, which they can have another week for. Irritating all the way around and so I didn't mind calling in sick to them yesterday and probably won't go up and do the Tuesday show even if I get better. I need to figure out a replacement for that income and find a way out of that job, I think.

Another concern with the station is that they aren't doing well. I talked to my young boss there, who isn't the money guy so he isn't involved in any of this, and asked how they are doing. He said they do better with football season, so maybe that will improve things for the next few months. He is also working another job now and looking for more things since he is not making money either. He just wrote and asked about internships at my main job.

Our friends from Dallas were down Sunday and Monday and we did have a good time with them -- though I wonder if starting my week off by being exhausted led to being sick. We went to the Salt Lick for dinner Sunday and then they went with me to the east side on Monday night. I intended for us to eat at a good east side Mexican joint, but all my regular ones and others I hadn't been to were all closed that night. I think the economy has had them curtail hours, too. A drag. We got a good pizza, though, at Eastside Pies and took it with us and it was great.

Work has been particularly stressful this week, but only in my head, not in reality. Normal stuff for most sane people. I got a travel planning password and booked my trip to NC that makes me sweat and tremble. I talked Christmas music with my west coast client and got that process started. Also my hunting lodge client. I had a hell of a time putting together the Christmas program that should have been the easiest, but I did get all my Christmas programs done and uploaded. I did not get two clients programs finished like I would have liked to have done this week. One is the west coast restaurant and it won't be too hard to put together on Tuesday. The other is this damn bar in NC that just isn't coming together very easily.

I don't supposed I'll be going to the emergency clinic today since I am feeling lots better today. I did go online to get an appointment with my regular doctor this week. I might ask for an antidepressant or antianxiety med to help me through menopause and through, uh, the rest of my life?

That's enough for now. I like getting back to my writing. I need to get back to my blog, too.