Monday, Mar. 27, 2023 8:44 pm
Mother is Dying
My mother is in the process of dying. I know! She's been just fine and I saw her last week and we talk every day...
Thursday there was a talent show at mom's place. My sister was going to perform at it. She called Mom to say "Get your hair combed, I'm going to take you to something fun," but Mom said she was sick. That was concerning, of course, but she performed and then checked in on Mom and thought all would be well after a day of being sick. That night the head nurse called and made her aware that it was a little more serious so my sister went up and spent some time with her late that night.
Then Friday afternoon I left work to go check in on her, too. I ended up staying the afternoon and we began staying 24-hours a day with her (one or another). Today was Day 5 and she has been mostly uncommunicative and a different person through almost all of it. I feel like my Mother has died, but her body hasn't caught up with her yet.
Sunday we were supposed to have a 95th birthday party for her -- a little late to be able to get the family all together. We canceled that, of course, but asked the grandsons to come to say their goodbyes. They, plus one wife, came and Mother was much more lucid and knew them and asked about the little girls and told them and us that she loved us and she knew us all. It was very special. She began to feel awkward at being the center of attention and said, "Ok, scoot." She was quite overwhelmed at having everyone together and she looked at me and said, "Am I dying?" I told her we all were. If it had been a smaller group I would have said yes and explained while she was lucid. But it was wonderful to see her real self (or close as we were going to get) for a brief minute. We thought she might slip away soon after, but she didn't. She is struggling to get out of the bed and gets mad at us and asks for help and cries. It is hard to deal with.
So I've been there all day after my sister stayed overnight. I'm going to get my radio done and love the cats a bit and sleep a minute if I can and go back up there and stay all night. The hospice nurse thinks the end is near. A friend called and we discussed her mother's hospital calling and saying her mother was dying imminently and she went to be by her bedside and was there for 12 days. And she didn't have a sister to share with. Her mother had cancer and I am forever grateful that mother doesn't have cancer or a broken hip or so many other long drawn out things that would make her so miserable. I'm grateful she won't lose her mind more and be in this current condition interminably.