Estoy Nueces

I just had my first cup of coffee from my new coffee pot. I bought it yesterday at Target. Ours still managed to make coffee, but was getting so old. The black stuff on the heater deal was all chipped up, all the white pieces were all stained brown, the hinge on the lid was busted. I bought another Hamilton Beach because it also had the removable water container. Why don't more coffee pots have that? I don't LIKE to pour my water into the reservoir. Picky, I know.

I have been thinking this morning about it being my nine year and what that means. I know it means endings and Daddy's death certainly was a dramatic ending. But then I was thinking of other losses that have or are occurring since about last November. My favorite promotions director and traffic director, the two people I was able to talk with at work more than anyone else, quit and left. I rarely talk to either anymore. My old favorite boss hasn't talked to me in nine months or so. Last I talked to him was at Christmas when I called to wish him happy birthday and merry Christmas and to tell him that Daddy died. Haven't heard a peep from him since. Same with the old boyfriend in Dallas who had been emailing on a pretty regular basis. I emailed him that Daddy died and he vanished. Cute guitar player has almost vanished. I think my last email to him was that Daddy died and he disappeared. He did send me that myspace comment in May, but I haven't responded, so I don't know if that counts or not. Our relationship has changed, no matter what. I am wondering what happened to my old roommate in San Antonio. I am not sure I have ever heard from her about Dad's death. I think I wrote her after we were up to Amarillo and I saw her mother's grave. If not, I know I wrote her last month about running into our old mutual friend at the Spoke and I haven't heard from her since. I wrote to both her and her husband last night and asked if I had offended them. He is a better emailer than she is, so I hope he at least writes back. I think this is going to be a year of change with my friendship with B!, too. With her falling in love again (and again and again) with this guy, we are having less and less contact. And I'm losing my traffic girl at work within the next week or two when she has a baby. I don't know if she'll really come back to work at the end of the year or not. Even if she does, I know our relationship has changed dramatically because of her pregnancy.

As I thought of all these concrete cases of changes, I thought of all the other people that have quit work or been fired. I don't know if they really count since that happens year-round at lots of jobs in lots of years. But, all in all, it has made me sad. Also a little panicky? What will the rest of the year bring? Or maybe since some of this began before the physical beginning of 2007, the "one" year will begin early, too. Not that it is a lot better than a nine year, it is pretty lonely, as I recall. But it is full of new beginnings. I just hope that doesn't mean the beginning of a new job on the buffet line at Luby's.

Yesterday we went to lunch at Mama Fu's. In one week on the diet I had lost about 6 1/2 pounds. It went up a pound today and I don't quite know why. After lunch I went to Target and bought a new purse and the coffee maker and lots of cleaning supplies we needed. Then I bought groceries at Central Market. That store intimidates me, especially on a Sunday when it is crowded. I missed lots of things I needed, but I got vegetables and some chicken and a piece of steak of some kind. And eggs. Two dozen eggs.

For dinner I made spaghetti squash with a sauce of tomatoes and squash and onion. It was good. Maybe a little bland. I used lots of fresh tomatoes, though. We stopped at the farmer's market that I always forget about and got a LOT of tomatoes for nothing, since they were closing. They are fabulous tomatoes, though they don't look like much. They taste like heaven. Pure heaven.

I re-read last year's diary from July on through December. I had forgotten lots about Daddy's many trips to the hospital. It was sad how quickly that last six weeks went. The whole year was sad. My sister and her husband were having lots of troubles. She was so sad because her son went to college. She was working so hard taking care of the folks. On and on. Things seem much better on all fronts this year. I know she is going to be having a harder time when both boys are off to college next month, but at least some other things have calmed down where she can spend some more time on herself, I hope.

More rain is expected today. It got stormy yesterday, but hardly wet the windshield where I was. I prefer the rain over the searing heat and sun, but things need to dry out a little.