Sunday, Jan. 21, 2007 12:31 pm
Dream of Daddy
Man, this morning I had the dream. It was a big group of people around a table, like in a cafeteria. I think all the people around the table were family, Mom's family, and we were eating. Mom was on one end of the long table and I was at the other. Suddenly, I look behind Mom and there in a booth, is Dad! He's sitting sideways in the booth with his arms locked in front of him, just watching us. I'm so excited! I don't know if I announced to the table or not, or went over, but it soon became general discussion that I could see Dad and my sister could, too. So we were talking to him and seeing how things were and telling him how good he looked. We all knew he was dead, we were just so happy that he could still be with us. We asked Mother if there was anything she needed us to ask Daddy. It was almost as if she was joking and not really sure if we were serious. She said, "Ask if I have enough money to last to the end of my days and if I can afford a vacation." We all laughed at her cuteness. But we did ask Dad and he kind of waved his hand and rolled his eyes and said she'd be fine. He said she had a lot more money than she was aware of because "you don't have to tell those folks when you've already done a study." Or something like that. My perception was that he had been involved in a lot of those medical studies concerning his lungs and we had never known about them (or if we had, we didn't know how many).
At some point I went and talked up close to Dad and had him come around the table and sit down with me. We passed by Aunt Dorothy and I was holding Dad's hand and we brushed her arm. She looked shocked and said "Well, now, I felt that!" I said, "Cool, you can feel him if you can't see him, feel of his hand, see how young it feels." I was telling everyone (and Daddy himself) how young he looked and that, in Heaven, you must get to be the best age your body ever was. Dad was in uniform at this point and I commented that he had one stripe and Mom said that was when he was a Private First Class and we all agreed that he was probably his most fit at that time. I went on and on about young and handsome he was, yet, of course, he was still Dad.
I suppose Daddy had been eating because he got up with the rest of us and took his tray to the guy that washes them and put it down on the stack and I watched the guy pick it up. I was saying to my sister, "Did you see that? He put down his tray and that guy picked it up!" Since I could see Daddy I was curious what other people that couldn't see him WERE seeing. Was the tray floating or did someone else have it? I couldn't figure that out.
So we are beginning to walk from the cafeteria and Daddy has stopped by the counters and is making himself a big sandwich. At this point he's wearing a plaid shirt and looking more like the Daddy of the last few years. He's got a big half of a loaf of French bread and he's loading it up with purple onions on his way to make a big sandwich. My sister and I laugh and say, "Look he's at it again, he's eating more!" Then either he says or we say something about being able to eat as much as you want in Heaven, it doesn't make any difference. Daddy agreed, but seemed kind of wistful about that that it didn't make sense that you could put "3 into 75" or something. I took it to mean something about him being 75 and putting 3 times as much food as he should eat, but it didn't make sense.
Then I woke up and realized I had just had that vivid dream of being right there with Dad again. I cried and cried. I thought of all the questions I wanted to ask him. I think in the dream we were thinking about the questions of his death and if it had been "okay" that he died, etc., but we never got to those. There wasn't a lot of conversation in the dream, just amazement that he was there and was so young and handsome. It's making me cry to write this. It was a very comforting dream, though, letting me know that he is okay and is always with us. It still makes me sad.
I woke up feeling like I should get up and write this all down or call my sister and mother. Then I reconsidered and wondered if I should tell them at all. It all seemed very prophetic and important at the time. Then I went back to sleep and five hours later it doesn't seem quite such a big deal.
Otherwise, I did go to Waco yesterday. We had a good time. The drive wasn't easy because it was raining the whole way up and back and while we were there, too. We went to a pizza place my traffic girl recommended that has been there 30 something years in Waco. It was good, old-fashioned pizza. The boys were funny. B was talking about a teacher he has who has the last name "Colon" but she pronounces it "Cologne." He said she didn't appreciate it when he sent her an email and said "Dear Mrs. Large Intestine." My sister and I were shocked and she said "You didn't!" and, of course, he hadn't. He just likes to yank her chain.
We let the boys go back to the dorm and play video games (too rainy for them to do much else and we were strapped for time, too) and we went driving around to see the town and the river. We stopped and went in a bookstore and I bought shirts for each of the boys and then we went in a cute little craft and art store and I bought a little magnet of a cat that says "I give and I give and I give."
Our time was up (I was the one that didn't want to be driving in the rain and the dark), so we gathered up boys and I went home to Austin. I had time for a short little nap before going out again.
I went out with MM last night. It was so fun. We went to dinner and talked and talked. Her father is in the hospital now and should get out today. That is hard on her with him so far away and no one else there to take care of him. We talked about what I consider the screwing she got from the station. She isn't getting paid to do our series at all now. That just seems terrible! She gets advertising and she knows how to buy advertising and make sure she gets the right deal, but I'm afraid she is still losing too much. She said she was okay with it. I did learn a lot more about how her business works.
We went on to Antone's. There was a line outside because it was sold out, but we were on the guest list and had no problem. Other friends of ours were there and had a table so we were quite comfortable up front for Ray Wylie Hubbard. He is so much of an entertainer. He was sing "I wanna rock and roll, I wanna hootchie koo..." in that screaming way of his on those kinds of songs and I couldn't help laughing thinking about him going into an American Idol competition. Dressed the way he is, shuffling along like a homeless person like he does, and then he opens his mouth with that raspy "I wanna rock and roll..." without a band making it phenomenal. It would be a joke. That's the whole drawback to that show. What there looking for is specific and most people don't fall in their target area... though many many that don't can be stars and make a living doing what they do and be revered for their songs, too. Funny.
Susan asked me to make a stage announcement. I hate to do that sort of thing, but I didn't have to identify myself as who I am, so I did and it wasn't a big deal. We were hoping to keep some of the sold out crowd to stay for Jay Boy. A lot did and seemed to enjoy him. He did put on a good show. I would like to see him again. He is still very handsome. His manager/friend was at our table. He told me that we had met years ago when he was working with a Nashville artist Jennifer Hanson. I remember that event, though I don't really remember meeting him. He has worked with ZZ Top and Clint Black and a lot of big names. He was a very nice guy and was sweet about Dad's death. He said his Dad died just this past year. And when Jay Boy played Tennessee Stud, I remember that that was what we used to play by him in my early radio days. I used to have his album, but I couldn't find it last night so I guess it has gone on. I didn't know what we had played by him and had no memory of really liking his stuff, just knowing who he was. When he played that, I knew that that was what we played. I didn't like it much then. I think it was too old-fashioned country and I didn't care for that. But I enjoyed it more last night.
Came home and went right to bed. Meant to get up at some point this morning, but I didn't. When I had that dream it was straight up 8 a.m. and I thought I should just get up and get started on the day. I fed the cats and then laid down and I was out for the count again. Noon came and went! So now I am up and I will prepare for football. A drum nerd is coming by in a while to get somthing, too. I hope he doesn't interrupt my game!