Estoy Nueces

I'm pretty down in the dumps tonight. Just Christmas blues, for the most part. I'm bummed that five of my friends have lost their jobs this week. I talked to my old (good) boss this afternoon and he is down down down. I know I depend on him to always be up and optimistic and chipper. He is not. I am going to take him to lunch on Monday before he goes away for the holiday. I wouldn't be surprised if his next job takes him away from Austin. I haven't seen him in six months so I guess it won't change our relationship too much if it did.

I took Mom and Dad their computer and had a heck of a time getting it to work... mostly because I'm an idiot and I had the phone cord (they are still dial up) plugged in the wrong socket. Once I figured that out I got it online and going. Then they asked if I could hook up the new printer, too. I plugged in and installed cartridges and then when the plug 'n' play thing couldn't find it I said, "Do you have a CD and a book on this one?" No! They've never heard of such a thing. Daddy's office looks about like mine and he has less of an idea of where things are than I do. When he left the room I pulled open a drawer and found what I needed, thank goodness.

Being home with the family always inspires me to clean up and throw out shit. My sister is a shopaholic and has too much of everything. I was with her yesterday running errands and she returned over $200 worth of items that she decided she could live without. She just has too too much. Of course, what have I done since I've been home tonight? Not much more than open the mail and take a shower.

Mark has done the sweetest thing. We decided not to put up a tree this year, but I came home to find one. A very small one with just six branches is on the kitchen table. It has some of our most special ornaments on it, one on each branch. It is adorable and nice to see the ornament from Comfort, especially. Mark had it especially made for us the year he was playing with Gary and didn't get to come home until Christmas Eve. It is a snow scene of Comfort, Texas, with us standing in front of the hotel we stayed at on our honeymoon. Very sweet and special.

I got bummed tonight coming home. I stopped in Waco to shop. My older nephew has decided that he will go to college at Baylor. So I stopped hoping to find a couple of great sweatshirts for him and his brother emblazoned with Baylor in green. Walmart's selection left a lot to be desired (it sucked) so I went to Kohl's. Almost everything they had was in XL or XXL or at least L and he wears a M and the other wears a S. I did get one t-shirt for him. Went on to another store and got him a big laundry bag and some playing cards for their poker matches with the bears on the back.

That also bummed me a little that I told my mom my gift idea and she said "Oh get me something too!" So I will probably let her have the shirt and the laundry bag and I'll try to find something else for him. I know they have difficulty getting out and shopping, but I didn't expect to be doing their shopping for them. Of course, they did give me a BIG wad of money... and that makes me feel bad, too.

As I said, I'm just down tonight in many ways. Our money situation is so grim. My paycheck from Thursday is just completely gone and I'll need an influx from Mark before Tuesday arrives. Christmas shopping will have to be continued on credit, obviously, and that just worsens the problem. If we can possibly get this car sold this week, that will set my mind at ease a lot.

And I'm just overwhelmed in many ways. At this time of year I finally get the Christmas spirit, but it is too late to do much online shopping and I am a terrible store shopper and I have no money anyway so it all seems a bit pointless. I have gotten gifts for my salespeople in the past, but I'm not going to do that this year and I feel bad. And I need to do Christmas cards, etc. etc. Overwhelmed. Stressed. Blue.