1999-11-29 23:31:45
The wreck and results
Finally a minute to myself and a minute to write. I have my wine close at hand and it's just a matter of where to begin.
Drummer boy had a wreck last Wednesday. Not as bad as it could have been but who wants to be in a wreck. He was sitting still at the light on Congress and Riverside, perfectly calm, relaxed and enjoying the bumper stickers on the truck in front of him (i.e. PETA--People Enjoying Tasty Animals)when BAM! he was hit from behind by a 1997 BMW. He was pushed forward and hit the PETA man in a brand new SUV. Our truck was accordianed. BMW man stayed in his car and when the paramedics arrived they said, "Oh, we know this guy" as if this is a regular occurance. He received a ticket for the accident but never exchanged a word with D-boy or the PETA man. Very odd fellow. He appeared drunk but it may have been some medical condition. Whatever it was, it seemed to be worse than a foot slipping of the brake (as he claimed) but more of a never braking at all.
The truck was a 1985 Toyota. It has slowly been crumbling beneath us but has still been so reliable at 210000 miles that D-boy had no desire to part with it. Book value is certainly no more than $1000, but where can you buy a good, reliable, working, clean vehicle for $1000? We don't have a settlement or anything yet (fortunately, BMW man was insured) but if insurance paid for broken hearts, D-boy would be receiving a huge check. I am very happy it is only his heart that is broken. It could have been his neck, his face, arms and legs. He was perfectly relaxed and never saw it coming so that helped, I'm sure.
His wounds have been salved somewhat by our quick replacement of the vehicle. The truck is certainly totaled so we went ahead and found something new (for us). D-boy is often accusing me of "saving us into the poorhouse" because I have squirreled away some money into stock and into a mutual fund. He's not saying that anymore. Pleased and surprised, he is amazed that there is money for a downpayment and we actually have something he's never known of: Good credit. He is, after all, a musician. [what do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? homeless]
We found a 1992 Mazda Navajo Saturday and finalized the deal today. This should satisfy my SUV desires that have been bubbling up inside and give us a good vehicle for some Hill Country exploring. It has a backseat to haul the nephews around in and still plenty of room for the drums and equipment. Drummerboy is smiling again.
He alarmed me Friday morning. I have the deepest vein of guilt a body can hold and I don't know where it came from or how to get rid of it. Friday morning I was watching the Texas and A&M game and reading the paper and enjoying coffee---having the time of my life! D-boy looks at me and starts a statement with "I want you to know how much I appreciate all you've done while I'm suffering through this....blah blah, woof woof...." I began tensing up and waiting for the "BUT...." that would turn this sweetness into an attack. I waited for "but the house is filthy, would you clean?" or "quit drinking the half-and-half in the coffee, your butt is as big as the couch" or "go take a shower, already, you smell like the trash container."
There was no "but." He was really just being sweet and really meant that my calmness and regularity helped to calm him too and he appreciated me. So why do I freak out? I've got a list of 7 therapists. Tomorrow I must choose. I'm not joking there.
I don't know why I have that tension and guilt. I wasn't abused verbally or physically as a child. I had an idyllic childhood, as my husband will testify. My parents are supportive and sweet. My mother has suffered through the same guilt sprees I do and has told me to not do it, but it must be inbred. And I've never been attacked or demeaned by my sweet husband. He is a gem as any of my friends will testify. He may not be the most financially sound man that Austin has but he is the sweetest and kindest in Texas, no doubt.
I need to sit down with the budget tonight (budget? ha!) and see how we will manage to pay for this vehicle. It will get paid for, certainly. I just hope there are no big disasters looming ahead for us. I cashed in two of my savings mattresses and I hate that. To start a mutual fund at Fidelity you have to have $2500. I don't know when, or if, I'll ever get a whole $2500 together to put in that mattress again. I hope so.
I was unemployed for over one and a half years in the early 1990s. That experience has me snakebit when it comes to preparedness and saving. Unfortunately I'm not doing a very good job with it and we are not anywhere near where I would like us to be financially. Two steps forward and one step back.
I have heard that my company gives nice Christmas bonuses. I'm not counting any chickens but I'm hoping.
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I had a very flattering experience today.
I have been behind on my diary reading and web surfing (ten years ago I would have never predicted what I would be "needing" to do each day). Tonight I did check in on Kramer's www.astrofish.net website. I like his webjournal because it is very short and very Austin. And I keep hoping to find direction in this horoscopes. Even when I don't find direction, I always find a smile. Rather than reading and going back to work, as I usually do and should do, I was clicking on the links and other pages of his site which has been reorganized and rearranged nicely. There under links I found a link to my site. Now I know people do that in this diary world all of the time but it was quite a shock to me, nonetheless! It certainly creates a sense of responsibility that I must write and must think about my writing.
Eventually I will create a page of links to the pages I read and the pages I relate to and the books I read and the songs I listen to and the passions I have...