2001-10-25 7:42 p.m.

Christmas ponderings

Tonight I am just stymied. I don't know why I get in my own way like this. I have lots of projects that I am interested in and would like to do, but when I am home and have some time I just sit here and throw roadblocks in my way. I think about beginning something but first I think I must eat, or clean, or make some tea, or call someone, or update this diary (!) or something. Maybe it is just because I am so tired all the time and I know I'll be having to get ready for bed in an hour anyway. Hard to get enthusiastic about a project that will be cut short.

Mark's birthday was Tuesday. I did my very very best this year to restrain myself and make the birthday about him and what he wanted in an a birthday. It has made me a little resentful because I would have liked to have had a nice lunch or dinner out but that didn't interest him. I gave him gift certificates to many of his favorite places: Threadgill's, Hill's, Maudie's, Half-Price Books and Waterloo. He liked that a lot. I am not a fan of the gift certificate at all and I don't want one for MY birthdays, but Mark thinks they are great and feels rich with them.

The job has gotten a little harder and more tedious this week. One task has been added to each day and that just creates more headaches. I sometimes just sit and stew while I'm running their show but have I ordered the course I said I would order? No. I haven't advanced that cause at all. Maybe tonight I will concentrate harder or deciding between the online courses. That is the hard part, the deciding. If there were a course at ACC it would be the obvious choice. But with a dozen choices online, it is hard to figure which will be the one that I can stick with and learn with.

I went to the mall today and visited with my old bosses. Hadn't seen one of them since June. It was really nice to visit with them and gossip a bit.

On a while different subject... Two months from today is Christmas day. Man, time flies. I talked to my grandmother a few days ago and she was bemoaning the fact that Christmas would be here so quickly. This is a 93 year old woman who doesn't have to decorate, shop, clean, bake, travel, get time off, get work done ahead, write Christmas cards, or do ANYTHING that we usually worry about when thinking of the fast-approaching holiday. Yet she worries. I think it must be a conditioned response. Therefore, this year I SWEAR (again) that I will not fall into that trap. I am not going to dread the most wonderful holidays of the year. I am not going to panic over what has been done and what has not been done. I am going to appreciate the season as much as I can and know that it is special and unique in these frightening times. I have no idea if I'll have any time off this year. Mark and I have thought for years about what it would be like to have a Christmas with just the two of us. This may very well be the year. I don't think I would have too much of a problem with it. Christmas last year was my family all coming here for a couple of nights (they didn't all stay here---just celebrated and ate here). It was wonderful. On Christmas Day they all left early to try to get back up to Dallas before the ice storm. Mark and I spent the rest of the day just relaxing and watching a movie and reading and napping. It was a wonderful day. I would really enjoy another Christmas like that, even if I worked during the day.

I used to work most of the holidays since I usually was spending Christmas nearby and that let other employees that wanted to travel to be able to. I always have liked being on the radio on Christmas or Thanksgiving because you get the nicest calls from listeners. I wouldn't mind that too much either. Whatever happens, I know this year will be an odd year with Christmas during the week and no vacation time added to the world situation. I'm just going to appreciate whatever I can have and not worry about what I can't.

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Older Entries
Book Club - Tuesday, Jan. 28, 2014
A Good Saturday Ahead - Saturday, Jan. 18, 2014
Back to Work - Monday, Jan. 06, 2014
The New Year Arrives - Wednesday, Jan. 01, 2014
Engaged - Monday, Dec. 30, 2013
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