Estoy Nueces

So six months of this "new year" have come and gone and I haven't been writing. I think about it often, but usually I am at my work computer and I am very skittish about writing on that computer.

Yes, I've had the Pfizer vaccine (went to Killeen twice to get it!). Second one April 1 so things are more open and safer. I forget to even have a mask with me often. Most places in Texas aren't allowed to require it, I think. I still wear it some to just show I'm concerned!

Mom's mental state seems to be deteriorating. My sister and I are noticing her being less able to keep up with new things or remember stuff and she repeats herself word for word seconds later. Still funny and mostly easy to talk to, but some days are tedious. My sister has more trouble since she is there in person and it is a longer visit. Mom has more complaints in person, too, since my sister can make things happen.

We did get Mom out of the "home" early this month and had the whole family together except for the nephew-wife that doesn't have kids. But the kids -- four now -- were there and it was great for Mom to meet them all and get a four generation picture. I got my first picture with all the girls, too. My favorite moment was when they all arrived and #2 just walked right up and gave me a big hug! She's just 4 but acts like she knows me. Sweet.

The EXCITEMENT of the week though is that I'm moving to Dallas sooner than I anticipated. Or it least it seems to be moving that way rapidly. I had first thought I'd move a couple of years after COVID ended and give Austin a year to win back my love and prove to me it is a great place to be. But then, what if it did? Then I wouldn't want to move back. I started realizing I NEED to move back as Mom needs more visits and my sister needs a shoulder and a hand from me, too. My cousin (JHD) was with me a few weeks ago and I was mentioning my two-year plan and she said "Why are you waiting?" I had no good reason for that. My job is transferable right now, my house is worth more than ever. Houses are cheaper up there, etc.

So I've been looking on Zillow and lots and lots of houses and getting excited about ones that speak to me. Cool OLD houses in Fort Worth, nice new classy houses in north Fort Worth and north Carrollton. Then I decided it was most important to live near Mom and since there are so few old houses over there I could table that until later and if I wasn't in love with Carrollton and wanted a change after Mother is gone, I could look for an old house then.

Then, two nights ago, an old house in the perfect location in Carrollton popped up. Absolutely cute as a bug. Small but completely redone with new kitchen and bathrooms and floors and fans and lights. Cute cute. AND TWO FRONT DOORS. That was the magic sauce to make me think it was meant for me. I talked to Rita and Kathy yesterday and learned about a service that buys a house for you with cash and then rents it to you until you get your house sold so you have time to clear out the old house and make the move. No one will hold a house while you close on another anymore so they became necessary. So I emailed them, too, but I don't think I've heard back.

So now today M&T are going by that cute little house's open house to check it out and CBH is also going, as a realtor, to check it out right about NOW. I think they all know me well enough to know what I want and what I need. I'm sure this is all unlikely to fall into place to get THIS house, but it at least is moving me along the path to learn how it can be done. If this isn't meant to be, there might be a more perfect solution.

I feel like me living in an old neighborhood in an old house makes more sense to me. I think I would fit in better there even if everyone on the street is old than I would in a new neighborhood where everyone is a family. Who knows what neighbors are like anyway? We certainly have a wide mix here in mine, mostly singles, it seems.

It's really weird to think I maybe could buy this house outright and have NO mortgage debt. I might have to save up for taxes and insurance, but even then I think I'd have more than $800 extra every month. I don't know how to live with extra income! But that's down the line... don't get excited yet.

I"m pretty determined that if I get a house and get to move I will have someone come do an estate sale at my house and sell everything I don't need to take with me. Furniture, garden stuff, some computer stuff, lots of books and knick knacks and china and towels and blankets. I could afford to start fresher and get furniture that fits the space and coordinates with each other.

I don't know how to feel about my friend DH today. She has been completely unresponsive to emails from me this year. She has been in a slump for months. I wrote Monday and she finally answered today. It just hurts my feelings that she doesn't even respond to an email to say I haven't done anything to hurt her. She's on better meds now and in counseling she says so mayby things will improve, I don't know. She answered after 5 days, but I'm going to let it sit a while. Maybe I'll buy a house and move and then she'll wish she'd been in touch (I'm horrible).

Yes, this is good for me to vomit out my thoughts here from time to time. Still glad Diaryland exists for me.