Estoy Nueces

Again -- and how many times have I said this? -- I wish I would write here more often. Sometimes I come here to check when something happened and there is nothing to even give me a clue. I have handwritten diaries, but this would be a nice adjunct (is that the right word?).

There is a new facebook group for those of us who have had journals for a long long time. It is fun to see the names popping up of people I used to read and be son involved in their day-to-day life without knowing them. I think I would enjoy writing this more if I had people reading it that I didn't know and they didn't know me. I'd rant and complain and tell you the truth about every day if I didn't think you were someone that would call me up and say, "Are you okay?" I'm fine. But I am certainly frustrated and depressed and anxious. Way too much of them all.

I visited an aunt Friday night for her birthday (different aunt from the last one). Her family is so screwed up it is a miracle they survive. You hear about dysfunctional families, but good gracious this one takes the cake. I heard a lot about it and tried to give some emotional support. I love my aunt and don't want her to have to suffer for her children's and grandchildren's problems.

I have had itching that is driving me fucking crazy. I had to take 2 benadryls last night just to get to sleep. I guess I'll do that again tonight. I don't know where this itching is coming from. My back, my toes, my fingers. Measles? No, I don't think so.

I used to tell tales about the sometimes creepy photographer here, I think. He is back in my life, but nothing has changed. We have seen each other a couple of times and it has been pleasant and fun. The last time lasted WAY too long and he continued to order drink after drink after we had closed ticket after ticket. He was way way drunk by the time the night ended. Then he pulled what he pulled back in the old days. He asked me to go get a quick drink after work today. I wasn't too keen on it, but he had to be at a book club at 7 so that meant there was a finite amount of time and I was okay with that--still getting home early, before the hub leaves for work. But he texted that he wanted to call me because he had some great news (or something). I said, just tell me. He said he didn't have to go to the book club, so we didn't have a time limit and we could go to dinner at this place he liked and then his friend's band was playing at this club at 7 p.m. so we could go there. I said, Whoa there sailor... Monday is my busiest work night at home and I want to go for one quick drink and that's it. He wrote "Ah..." and then wrote that he didn't want to make the trip into town for one drink, so we called it off. I didn't give a fuck if he was pissed. That just aggravates me so that he thinks we are "dating" or something. We aren't. And I have no interest in seeing him for hours on end.