Estoy Nueces

The next time I book a remote for myself, I must remember that the two-hour remote will absolutely KILL the whole day for other efforts. I had a remote up in G'ville yesterday from 11 to 1 with my boss at the livestock show. It was fun to see the kids and the animals and visit with my friend for, gosh, three or more solid hours. But it took six full hours of the day to get up there and then get back and it wore me down so I took a long nap and then had no energy for anything last night. I'm not saying it isn't worth it to go, just must remember not to think, "Oh and I'll put in a garden and remodel the house when I'm back."

I never claim to be an empath or feel other people's energies, etc. Mostly because EVERYONE seems to do that. And I don't particularly think that I do. Sometimes, sure, but it's not my thing. But MAN I am holding on to some psychic energy from yesterday. I shouldn't even write it down to prolong it probably. It was just a little incident. We were in an "aisle" or pathway between animal pens and a girl was coming along with a big show cow. We stood to the side and then she said something and I gathered she was warning about getting behind the cow or something and my friend was sort of asking her a bit about it and then we got on by quickly and went on. No big deal. But later she was cleaning her animal and we were ten or fifteen feet from her and I realized my friend was going toward her and didn't know if he was going to talk to her or if she gestured to him. But when I got up to them she was telling him that he was very "disrespectful" of her and her cow when he tried to touch it and how dangerous cows were, etc. I don't remember him touching the cow. But he apologized and she just kept going on and on. I think "disrespectful" is overused. She really meant "stupid" or "asshole" or something, but she used disrespectful to hide her anger. We discussed it a bit more. I said I hadn't heard anything she said (it's a noisy place and I'm deaf) but she kept going back to it. So we finally ended it and turned. About ten feet away was her - I think - mother and her mother sort of apologized to us. We sort of apologized to her again, but it was weird. My friend/boss was more pissed than anything and he was wishing he weren't there in a celebrity role so he could just tell her to kiss off. So -- little thing, small run in, no one was hurt, but her energy is STILL hanging with me. Last night I thought about the show and had that feeling of guilt or anxiety or doom and thought, "Wait, what?" and realized it was from that incident. Again this morning I think back and it is almost like I made a fool of myself in front of hundreds of people, or hurt someone I really love, or did something WRONG. None of that is true and I wish there was a quick easy way to shed that negativity! So weird.

I've gained some weight during Christmas and even post Christmas (post-eggnog) it has gone up. Yesterday I felt particularly fat and sluggish. My boss has lost over 25 pounds with Ozempic. That's well and good for someone his size that is not going to balloon back up 50 pounds when he stops the Ozempic. I don't want to do something with a drug like that because I know it does come back when you aren't on the drug. I have had a drug that gives you that no-craving feeling and it is wonderful. I realized then that that is how some people LIVE their lives! They eat until they are full and stop. Or they are offered wine or candy and don't accept because they know it is good, they turn it down because they aren't seeking that feeling it gives you. It was weird to not have those feelings that I'd had all my life. I would love to reset my brain to be more like that. So I don't want the current drugs and I don't want to diet and I don't want to quit drinking.

It's already after noon and I am still in pajamas and drinking coffee. Football coming up in a few hours so I need to think about what has to be done before then. I think I'll be good if I change the sheets and clean the kitchen. I've kind of got a reorganize my kitchen idea in my head and I may do something toward that, but not all of it. I've been here two years and still don't feel like my pans and pantry items are all in the best places for them. Some never used items are easy to get to and things I use are farther away or behind things. So . . . . still thinking about that.