Estoy Nueces

My work computer is not letting me in. I was on the phone with IT this morning (he lives in Belize!) and he wasn't able to get me in either. Funny how they "remote in" to the computer to fix things, but he can't remote in if we can't GET in. He found no reason I should be blocked, but I am. The software I use for work is on the Internet so I don't have to be on THAT computer to do my job. So I've moved in here to a different personal computer, but I just don't feel like working AT ALL.

I feel a bit blue for no good reason. Except maybe I finished the Deadwood series and the movie last night. I don't recommend it at all because the show is so violent and vulgar, truly. I didn't watch it when it was on TV the first time because of that. Mark watched it devotedly, but I didn't. Then when I learned recently that it had Timothy Olyphant, whom I love from Justified, I had to try it. Now that I've watched it all I am having a deep sense of loss! More than most shows I have really felt a connection to that town and those people from 130 years ago. I've read a lot about them now and found out how accurate the show really is. The characters in it were real people and the language, even the cussing, is apparently accurate.

I think another reason I am blue is because I reached out to a friend this week and haven't heard anything. She was my friends 30 years ago when we were both single. We were dear friends and went to each others' weddings and I was good friends with her husband, too. After I married and we had long ceased working together, we drifted apart. In October somewhere in the 90s I got back in touch with her for her birthday and took her to lunch. I thought we had a good lunch. But after that I thought it was time to let her reach out to me and she never did. When Facebook came along we became friends on it and have exchanged comments, but that is all. She is quick to like/love my drawings and make sweet comments. But I sent her a long message the other day asking if there was a reason we had drifted apart and if it was my fault could I apologize. I kind of caught her up and told her where I lived now and asked where they live. I said I would like to have them over for dinner. That's been three days now, I think, and no response. She is on Facebook enough that I'm sure she uses messenger and will see the message. But I almost feel like she read it, discussed it with her husband, and decided not answering it was the best answer. Maybe I'm reading way too much there. But it makes me sad. I've gone without her friendship for 30 years now, but I sure would like to find a few more friends here in Dallas.

Tonight I am going to the Taylor Swift concert movie. I'm excited and wishing I hadn't made the commitment all at the same time, as I usually do. And dreading that I also have to go to GVL tomorrow for a remote at Depot Day. That, too, will be fun and I'll make money and enjoy myself and probably get a free lunch, too, but I'm dreading it and wishing I could just stay home.

But, here I am at home, not working (though I should be) and I don't know what to do with myself. Entropy. Is that the word?