Estoy Nueces

"Present me" was very unhappy with "past me" yesterday. I had a ticket to a show that I purchased in February and I had to go to it. -sigh- I really was perfectly happy at home, but I've had to let other tickets go and I've lost the money so I didn't want to waste the money and I was sure I would be happy I went. Now today, yesterday's "future me" is not so sure. eh. There were two performers in the small cool venue I went to in December. Either one could have been the headliner in my view, I've seen them both before. Robbie Fulks opened. I've seen him with a band and with maybe one sideman and last night was solo. He's excellent, he's funny, but he was also sick and having trouble with some high notes. Without a band he's a bit limited in the repertoire. I wasn't unhappy with his show, but it didn't wow me. I did buy a USB with 50+ songs he was selling, songs that aren't on Spotify. I mainly did it to support him. The headliner was Darrell Scott. I interviewed him once and have seen him perform. I wouldn't have become an accordion player without seeing him and his accordion-player wife perform many years ago. He is an excellent songwriter and a terrific performer. He had a guitar with deeper tone and more dynamics and his sings and performs with lots of emotion and drama. But he is also rather low-key and serious. I was already so antsy I stayed for 30 minutes or so and then exited and came home. I did get home to find that Dateline was a repeat so I was glad I didn't miss a new good one (that's kind of a joke).

So, bottom line, I left the house. And I went to brunch with my friend Judith on Wednesday so I left then, too. And I went to the dentist Monday AND Tuesday. I went Monday, got a brand new crown (no extra charge) and then dammit if it didn't come off that night. So Tuesday I was back and they found some stronger glue to put it back on with. So far, so good. It is rough and uncomfortable and it affects my speech on the radio frequently so I am ready for the 17th to be here and get a smooth one I don't notice.

I talked with my "financial guy" this week. That makes me laugh because it sounds like I have a lot of money and need a financial guy. I have enough money that it does need a bit of guidance so I do pay a company to watch over it and they do a really good job. I have told him over and over that I'll likely retire when I reach full retirement age for Social Security, which is just before I turn 67. But this time I asked him, "Can I retire now?" They ran the numbers and assured me that I could retire now. Just hearing that good news makes me okay to continue to work and hopefully accumulate a little more. Right now my job is so easy and I'm paid too well to let that slip away (if I have any sense).

In fact, this week, my work computer has not functioned. I reported it to IT and they finally called me on Friday to "fix" it and their big conclusion was they would have someone send me a mailing label and I can send it back to them and they'll see if they can fix it. Five days wasted just to get to that first step. What? Two more weeks without my computer? I CAN work on my personal computer for most things so I'm not twiddling my thumbs, but it is a bit more difficult. So I was a bit more lazy and/or distracted this week. In fact, yesterday was pretty much a day of not working. I was AT the computer with all my genealogy files so I did a lot of rearranging and throwing old stuff away and seeing what I have. Still a lot of organization to go there so let's HOPE it takes them two weeks to get it back to me.

Two people have asked me lately if I have named my car. I have never been a person that has felt comfortable calling a car by a name. So "my car" will continue to be the name. And "my car" has two more payments and it's mine (that's an old Clint Black song that will now be in my head all day. Which is fine. In fact, when that song was a hit, my mother bought me the cassette because I had a 1987 Honda that I bought brand new and it was almost paid off and that song reminded Mother of me.)

I might have to name my porch "Turtle" for the pace it is going. BIG SIGH. My contractor says the engineer will have the drawings next week that will then be filed with the city and then the city will take two to three weeks to approve and THEN we can build. That begins to sound like the children's story "this is the stick that beat the pig to jump over the style to go to the market...."

I pulled out one of Mother's diaries this week just to remember. It was funny because she was describing some bodily function issues she was experiencing. Then she wrote something like "If that is too gross you shouldn't be reading my diary!" That sounds like her. She's funny in that she tells everything that is in every big meal... My wedding was "beautiful" and the men were handsome and my sister and I were beautiful, but the rehearsal dinner was brisket and baked beans, a big salad, mashed potatoes, hot homemade rolls, and three different desserts: pie, fruit salad, and cake. (That's not accurate, but a representation of her writing.)

So today .... I don't just have a wide open day, I have a wide open day with my sister out of town! Not that that makes any difference, of course, but I always feel a bit of a worry (threat?) that she'll interrupt my flow with a call or visit. That's silly, I know. The house has had a bit of a funky smell lately so I'm going to search everywhere and make sure there isn't some errant poop I've missed and I will mop and clean enough that I hope everything smells fresh. And, thought I don't want to spend another day sitting at a desk, this work area has papers and things piled on the desk and on every side on the floor and against the walls. It's beginning to reach Hoarder levels so I want to clear it out. If I must I'll bring in a plastic bin and load it up and put it on a shelf somewhere.

BONUS RECIPE I made a little meal from a recipe in the NYT this week that I hope to repeat. I love spaghetti and make it sometimes with just butter and garlic and lemon and parmesan and it is delicious. This was sort of a variation.... I cooked some egg noodles, added 2 T of peanut butter, 1 T of butter, some soy sauce and a little bit of the boiling water and stirred it until it was all coated, melted, and smooth. It was really good. Basically Thai food with the peanut taste. Easy and ingredients I always have on hand. Maybe I'll do that again today. I need a trip to the grocery but I'm also being very conservative since I just charged this outdoor furniture AND the cost of a tooth on my credit cards. Basically, I have no discretionary income to pay for those things so I'm going to try to conserve and eat up the food I have and as soon as the car is paid off I will have extra discretionary funds to get it all paid off.

Oh... I had a dream about the eclipse last night. Funny that I'm thinking it about it that much that I have to work it out in my dreams. I dreamed I was on the air and I left to go to the Dollar Tree (or some store). I putzed around there and then I came out and my car had been stolen. Meanwhile, the eclipse happened and I totally missed it. But as I missed it I realized that I had walked away from the station without any automation and there had probably been two hours of dead air. I was panicking that I had really messed up a lot. My old boss Shalonn came along and had a few other women with her and they threw a lot of yogurt on me as punishment (WTF???). Then I was talking to my current radio boss and saying, "I fucked up." He didn't fire me and he wasn't really mad, but I woke up before all shit hit the fan. He and I have been planning how to "work" the eclipse while I'm on the air Monday so it sounds like I'm really seeing it, too. As it stands, there may be too many clouds to really appreciate it. I don't really care. I'd love to see it if it happens, but it's not on my "bucket list." (I don't make bucket lists -- I've done EVERYTHING I need to do.)