Estoy Nueces

I felt sure I had written sometime between Thursday and today, but if I did it has disappeared. Sometimes they reappear so I won't worry about it.

Mark has been gone most of the weekend to a gig in Dallas. I haven't accomplished much at all. I need goals, I need dreams. I keep reading things about making your big dreams come true and I don't have those. I'm perfectly happy just doing my genealogy and piddling around the house all the time. I think I could do that all week if I had a large stream of money coming in without effort. But as to what I would like to do to make money and fulfill myself, I don't have a clue. It is rather frustrating.

Tomorrow it is back to work and there is a lot of work to be done. And then I leave Thursday and that trip has me nervous and putting everything on hold. I know I'm not really going to accomplish much until I get back. I hate that, too. And I know one of the reasons I hate travel for work is that it costs so much money. I'm trying to not let this trip do that. You say, but isn't it all covered by the company? Well, sure they pay for the airfare and the car and the hotel, but do they pay for the haircut, the eyebrow waxing, the manicure, pedicure, and new clothes I desperately need? No, they do not. Think about it. That's at least $250 right there and I am really trying to not do that. I am trying to grow my hair out and I know if I went for a haircut they'd just chop it too short and I might look better, but I would be frustrated with it, too.

I have been thinking a lot about my newsman over the last few days. He died on Thursday and my friends and I have been sharing a lot of memories of him. He was a great hero, a wonderful father and husband, and a great friend. I wish I had communicated more with him in the past 25 years, but without email and things like we have now, it was a lot easier to lose contact with old friends like that. His funeral is Tuesday, but I can't make it or afford it.