Wednesday, Oct. 18, 2006 10:45 am

Focus

I've been staying away from the boss this week. He seems to be in a weird place. With the firings, I'm sure there is some worry about his job. I have gotten used to him over these last two years, but I don't know that I would be upset if he did lose his job. In some ways I would feel like karma had come around. But I digress...

I had a pretty dull show yesterday. I didn't even do my trivia contest because I didn't have a prize and I was too lazy to get in touch with the promotions person. She is also strange these days and frazzled and I am staying clear of her, too. Lots of weirdness at the station.

I had to spend my day yesterday organizing the songs played over the weekend to let BMI know what we played. We are required to let them know the songs that played for a three day period (once a year... although it seems like this comes up frequently). Seems like the last time was during the Christmas weekend and that made it extra difficult. I think I've gotten it together this time for the most part and I will finish that today and get it sent to them.

Also spent way too much time getting our countdown together. I've got to figure out how to "flesh" is out a little more. With just a 10 song countdown, there is too much extra room. But a countdown of any more would leave too little room, I think.

Today my dad goes in for his biopsy and to find out about surgery. I would think they are at the appointment right now, but I haven't heard from them. I hope it goes well. I probably will not be there at all for anything this time. If I can, I will go up next weekend for a visit and to see my nephew march at contest.

I'm really tired of being the only one at the station that makes appearances. I have been required to be at a festival either this Friday or Saturday. Is anyone else going to be there to do anything? No. I'm the "young" one (sure, only relatively) and I'm the only willing one that people can stand to work with, so I have to do all the free things while they make the biggest salaries and have six weeks of vacation. Ergh.

I sure wish I could figure out some motivation in my life. I am stuck in various ways. Maybe I need to reread my old Zig books. Not that they ever motivated me back then, either. Therapy? No, I think I'm good there for a while longer. Maybe I do need to work out a list of goals like I did in the ZZC days. That might at least help me focus.

And today is the old boyfriend the cop's birthday. Isn't it funny how you think of these things when you see that date? I think our first birthday together was his 29th, which seemed so old at the time (I think I was 25). Now he would be past 50 and probably totally bald (shaved, I would wager) and very grizzled. He was all of that at 29, so I expect it has only increased. He was a dear sweet man, though, and though I am perfectly happy in my life, I still regret that we couldn't make it work together. We were compatible and loved each other, him more than me, but I just wasn't "comfortable" with him. I told him that many times and I never could get where I could just easily "be" with him and feel free to be myself. I'm glad I recognized that at the time and didn't get all starry eyed that he wanted to marry me. Within days of meeting Mark I knew that that was the factor that had been missing and I was perfectly at ease with him from the start. Chemistry, I guess.


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Book Club - Tuesday, Jan. 28, 2014
A Good Saturday Ahead - Saturday, Jan. 18, 2014
Back to Work - Monday, Jan. 06, 2014
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