Tuesday, Oct. 11, 2005 11:17 am
Rainy and bored
Yesterday evening at work I finally got into one of the projects that I've been needing to do. Actually, I got a couple going yesterday. I sent the boss my ideas for the Texas show we've been talking about so he can't say that the ball is in my court, and last night I worked on the classics. I discovered that some that should be in there weren't and some that shouldn't be were. I did some rearranging and got that mostly straightened out, I hope. I need to make a better list to compare what I have with what is in there.
I was at work late, so instead of coming on home, I went to the eastside to see the band. Probably a bad idea. Had a little tiff with Mark right off the bat when I was critical that he had bought a new shirt yesterday. I'm going to the grocery store and opting out of buying litter for the kitties because we have NO money and he goes and buys a new shirt (after a new hat last week). He got mad at me and I got mad at him. I need a ton of money to pay the mortgage this week and I hate this feeling. I came home and looked at our finances and saw, again, that I'm losing SO much money this year because of the changes the station made in December. For a while it looked like things were bouncing back, but September was my worst month this year. Even my best month this year was worse than most months last year. I make too much to look for another job, but I don't make as much as I did before, so I'm in a bind, especially when I'm the only one tightening the belt. Frustrating.
I came home to find my computer going wacky on me again, too, which is depressing because I can't afford to fix it or buy a new one for a while. The screensaver and desktop and icons were all facing sideways again. I got it rebooted but the monitor kept going out. I think this is an overheating issue. I cooled it off overnight and it is working better today... except for the Y key issue which is still there. Fucking sigh. Fucking Dell.
Mark is going to be gone most of the rest of the week and the weekend, too, which doesn't lift my spirits. I need to find something to do or I will close in on my own loneliness and just make it worse, I'm afraid. But, since my recent efforts to do things and go out were difficult because of my voice or because my friends flaked out, I am reluctant to even try. If I didn't have work Sunday at noon I might even go to see family, but I won't. My friend from the old Jazzfest days, Tom, is possibly in town this weekend. He's a sportswriter and I think he is covering Colorado this year. I might get to see him. He's gotten married since we saw each other last and his new wife and I haven't met. She may not allow dinner out of town with old girlfriends. I don't know that I would. I'm sure she doesn't realize how boring Tom is to the rest of us out here. If I had wanted him I could have had him 20 years ago.