Wednesday, Nov. 30, 2005 11:42 am
Blue Christmas
Financially, we are in dire straits this week (and that doesn not mean we are Sultans of Swing). So I wanted to check to see how I go about selling some of my stock. Of course, they don't want to make it easy, even online, so you must print the form and mail it to them to sell any. My printer has been out of commission a while because I didn't have any ink. I had the cartridge though so I fired up the printer and put in the cartridge. After many tries and efforts, though, it still feels like the cartridges are jammed or the carriage is jammed and it refuses to print. So, thirty minutes wasted and no closer to having any dough to pay the December mortgage. Sigh.
Had to get up early and get to the station for a picture for our Christmas card. Big group of us with all the sales people and managers and such. It made me sad to see how few of the people there are people that I really was happy to greet and just BE with. Is that me or them? Or should I just accept that there are people I don't like and move on with my life?
I haven't updated my voice situation in a few days. It has been tight, but I've done pretty well on the air. Better yesterday than the day before. I did a commercial last night that came out pretty well. I still had to edit out all the breaths, because I can't get through a sentence without a breath in it. Weird. I talked to a woman that does sound healing and got an appointment, but after going over our finances, I am going to call and cancel. I just can't afford something that requires cash right now. And she can wait until January or later, it isn't like this is going to go away on its own and I know she can't guarantee that I will be "fine" when she has done her thing.
I made a fabulous soup last night. I didn't even come home really planning to cook, but I wanted something warm and satisfying. I cooked potatoes and then sauted some onions, celery, carrots, and garlic in butter. Added some heavy cream and added lots of black pepper and it was wonderful! It really turned out to be a big batch, but no leftovers. Perfect for a cold night.
It is the holiday season and I love Christmas, but I also am feeling that inexplicable blueness of the season, too. That longing for something from the past that I didn't have, or something I did have, but it is gone now, or something I want and I don't know what it is. It is strange and, I'm sure, not uncommon. Would I feel better if I had baked some gingerbread cookies and company was dropping by tonight? Christmas carols on the hifi and cocktails in the shaker while we watch Andy Williams' annual show? Maybe I'd feel better if I went to the homeless shelter and helped feed the multitudes, or went to the Blue Santa offices and sorted and wrapped toys for the kids. I don't know. Just feeling it and wanted to let some of it out.