Estoy Nueces

Man, I am feeling anxiety bad this morning and I don't know why. Coffee? Cinnamon roll? Hangover? I feel doom and fear and stress for no reason at all. I may go take a Xanax just to be able to go to work. This is weird and I hate it.

Cockroaches in the kitchen this morning, Mark said. And one in the bathroom last night. What is up? Has the trashy house really progressed to that level or is the cold front driving them in? This is weird and I hate it, too.

Dinner last night at M&M's with others. Not too weird. I just don't really relax, though, and I wish I could. Food was so-so. Wine was nice. I'm glad Mark was there.

Worked all weekend, it seemed. Typed a lot, voice tracked. I did do some laundry and cleaned the shower. That was about as far as I got. I told Mark I feel like when you have the flu. How it is such a huge effort just to take a shower. I felt that way yesterday when I tried to take a shower. Just worn out. Not really physically, it just seemed to be more than I could muster up the effort for. I hate this. I know slapping on a smile and a positive attitude might help, but that involved effort, too.

We forgot to put the trash out. I'll try not to create much trash this week.

I did find the energy this weekend to finish the Jesse Sublett book and it was so good. Really well written and such a sad, yet uplifting, too, story. I need to read his detective novels now.

Bad news coming from the sister's house this weekend, too. We'll see how that develops. Sad. That makes me sad and anxious, too.