Wednesday, Nov. 06, 2019 7:23 pm

Blue October

Lots has happened since I wrote last. It was a great trip to Amarillo. Got together with the old college friends and reminisced and my friend Jamey was very touched that we all were there for his big night of being inducted into the Hall of Fame at the college.

I enjoyed some time with my old roommate, too. We were never close friends. We lived together for 6 months or so and she was a year older. We still aren't close, but we do have a history and I enjoyed seeing her life now. It makes me very grateful for mine. She is working ONE day a week (hours cut) as a nurse to pay for her house and her life. And her alcoholic brother with no job is living with her, paying nothing. And her 90+ year-old mother is non-communicative and immobile and in a nursing home. I have a good full time job, I've been able to pay for this house so far for a full year, my family is supportive, even financially if I need it, and my mom can still laugh and carry on a conversation on the phone or in person.

While I was there I also visited my cousin's husband. My cousin died 12 years ago and I still miss her. She was only 57 and died of cancer. She was an amazing, loving, woman. Her husband of 12 years or so was older than she was and he is now in hospice care because he is VERY fat, has diabetes, COPD, congestive heart failure, and seems like there was another bad thing. I went to see him and he seemed exactly like always, not near death really. We talked for two hours and laughed. He was on oxygen and would talk and talk and then have to kind of stop and gasp a little.

The whole time I was visiting I was wishing I could sit next to him and hold his hand because I figured he had to be lonely and crave human contact, but there was no chair near him. We talked and then I hugged him good before I left. He pulled me back and kissed me on the LIPS. That really made him happy. He wanted to do it again, but I said that wouldn't be a good idea. A little awkward, but I also knew where he was coming from.

I came on home and 10 days later, he was dead! Such a total shock that I was the last one in our family to see him and I took the last picture, I bet, before he died. It really was sad. So my sister and I turned right around and went up for his funeral. It's a long story, but his step children and grandchildren that he considers HIS (and I know this because we talked about it the week before) were relegated to the back rows at the church and weren't considered "family." And we weren't able to go to the graveside burial that they held before the service. And the preacher's stories about him were all related to the biological family and they were lame. It was apparent they didn't have any real relationships or memories of him. It was sad. But we all got through it and it was lovely to see my dear cousin's kids and grandkids. We went on out to the grave and visited a while and then we came on back to Dallas and I came home to Austin the next day.

This last week was Mark's deadline for getting his stuff out of the shop so I could burn it to the ground (damn city regulations, I can only tear it down). He didn't make the deadline, but he didn't take more than a week over to get it done so he's through and I have high hopes of getting it torn down soon. At least before Thanksgiving? Money is super tight and I'll hire the guy that can take a credit card if I have to. I also have hopes of putting a keyless lock on the front door and maybe the back door, too, and changing the alarm code and FINALLY calling this house all mine.

I talked to Mark's folks and heart that he has visited up there in the last month or two and brought the girlfriend. They weren't that impressed with her (but of course they would tell ME that). They didn't think they went together at all. But I was glad that Mark took her and glad they allowed him to come visit (after a month of putting him off).

He and I last talked a couple of days ago and texted yesterday. I wonder how long it will be before we "need" to talk again or happen to talk again? I hope it is a long time and well into 2020. I need to move on with this new life.

And a good life it is.

I'm a little blue lately because of the time change mainly, I think, but I'm blue when I looked back and my sister hasn't visited me in about 18 months. In 2018 she came twice to buy shoes, but she hasn't been here at all since the divorce was final, so she hasn't seen all the house changes I've made. I've been up there about 12 times already in 2019 with at least 3 more to come! And my friend Diana has been out of touch for six weeks or so. A couple of very short emails or group emails and she went to Mexico for a week, but really nothing from her. That bums me out, but then I worry that maybe I'm not being a good friend to someone and I'm not thinking about it.

I need to get my radio show recorded. I've already had a couple of drinks so I may be slurring my words.

At work my hard drive crashed and I had to get a new computer. It has been a nightmare day of trying to remember passwords and getting my bookmarks back in place. I lost a LOT and I'm trying not to think about it. My sister pointed out that Mercury IS in retrograde. So I am backing up a lot of photos to Amazon photos right now just to make sure they are somewhere. I need to back up genealogy and writing, too. Scares me.

Before || After
Older Entries
Cat pissed and I am too - Saturday, Feb. 22, 2020
New Cat! New Attitudes! - Thursday, Feb. 20, 2020
Happy New Year 2020 - Saturday, Jan. 04, 2020
Last of the Year - Monday, Dec. 30, 2019
Adventures on the High Plains - Sunday, Dec. 08, 2019
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