Monday, Nov. 02, 2015 10:43 am
I am feeling so much better today than I was last week. Last week the anxiety was driving me INSANE and I really mean crawling out of my skin insane . Then I discovered on Friday that I had failed to take my Prozac every day. That shit is IMPORTANT. Once I even got one dose back in me I felt better and the next day I felt great. I feel good today, too. I hope it lasts and I appreciate how much it helps every day.
I hate my disorganization… as usual. I couldn’t remember where my Day of the Dead necklace I made was so I am not wearing it today. And I don’t know where my rocks are (maybe I should check the piano bench?). I am awash with junk. Yesterday I did take pictures of the projector and screen and hope I can be brave and put them on Craig’s List and get rid of them. If I made some cash in the process, I would be ecstatic. That would be a wonderful thing. After that I may get braver and let the accordions go. At least the bigger 120 bass one. It is just too big to keep and I don’t need it at all. I don’t even play either one of them. But if I narrowed it down to one maybe I could put it in a more accessible place to play sometime.
I learned a lesson this weekend in asking for what I want. I decided I wanted to go to the Dia De Los Muertos parade on Sixth and asked Mark if he would be interested. He, surprisingly, was so we went down and saw the parade and ate at Cisco’s and then we went to the museum MexicArt and looked at their altars. I probably would have balked at going in there and paying a paltry $5, but he paid for things and bought me a skull car air freshener and earrings. It was all very nice and especially nice just to walk around downtown in the beautiful post-rain weather and be together. I need to ask for what I want more. I need to remember that he doesn’t always say now.
Plans for the week? I just saw a report from Dr. S come in so I will be typing and doing radio, for sure, but maybe it won’t stress me as much as it all did last week without medication help. I hope I breeze through it. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about the World Series to watch. It ended last night in extra innings and KC won. I enjoyed the last 3 or 4 innings and feeling part of the winning. I always prefer they win at home and KC didn’t, but I was glad it was over and I don’t have to think about baseball at all until February or March.
I have been thinking about how to get Mom picked up for her next visit. I don’t think the bus is a good answer and I hate for her to be alone on any ride. I am thinking about renting a car to go get her in so it is a more comfortable, quieter, more solid, safe ride than my hoopy (as Daddy would have called my car). Or is it hoopie? I’ve never been sure. Spell check doesn’t like either one of them.
I’m getting bored with this, but I’m not to 750 yet. And this isn’t really morning pages since I’m awake and distracted and at work. They really need to come when I’m still in a half dream state. I know I had some interesting dreams this morning. My sis had had some sort of party and I was at “their” house/not their real house. I can’t remember the action. Oh well. No revelations if I can’t remember my dreams. Two more words… and done.