Wednesday, Mar. 02, 2005 12:03 pm

Down down

Man, I am down down down today. So down I would like to talk to my therapist, but since I have group tomorrow I'll just wait and see how things go there.

I know it is just a combination of so many things. Mostly the damn computer! I got it back from Dell today and they didn't fix it. They say it needs a hard drive and they are shipping a hard drive but that's what they've done twice before and that didn't fix it! I am just going nuts and I absolutely hate the thought of going to buy a new computer, but I am going to have to do that. I'll get a low priced system for home use and then if/when I get a laptop back in action I can use it for laptop purposed, but meanwhile my warranty money ($367) means little or nothing and I've lost a month of business with my radio stations and I paid my computer guy $100 for what he did in the fixing process and now I'm going to go lay down money (that I DO NOT HAVE) to get a PC. It's just nuts. It makes me want to kick someone... hard... and cry. I talked to my "connection" that I only have because of a nice listener that works at Dell. He' says he'll start the process to build me a new one (in Malaysia) but then we got cut off. I've called again and left a message and emailed and got the one word "sorry". That doesn't help my mood at all. It takes five days to build a computer. That means another full week before I could see it. And even then I'll still have to go through all the software loading, etc.

I am behind on my work at the office. This was supposed to be an easy week with the boss out of town. I don't know why it is piling up so. I am doing an extra recorded show for a station in Amarillo and that is part of it. Only two more days to go on that (and that will be extra money, thank goodness). I will work late again today and maybe I'll be caught up.

And my voice has been extra bad this week. Sunday I had such a nice day. I got a lot accomplished and took a long walk. I never spoke until Mark got home that night and then I realized I was having a bad voice day and didn't even notice. There was no feeling of tension in my throat so it was just the acid reflux apparently, but it was bad Sunday night and Monday. Yesterday slightly better. Today, I don't really know yet. It sounds more like allergies today.

I shouldn't be overwrought over material things. I talked to a woman at one of my stations in East Texas and heard about her husband having cancer... that began under his fingernail! Have you ever heard of such a thing? He lost a finger, but it hadn't spread, thank God.

Here's the one story that has made me smile lately. My silly co-worker Cotton made some sweepers for Texas Independence Day. He asked me to place some of them yesterday so I listened to them and found them saying "Happy 170th birthday Texas!" I emailed him to say "uh.... it's only 169." His math skills are atrocious.

I will get out of the house. I think this may be a Xanax kind of day.

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