Saturday, Mar. 11, 2006 10:10 pm
Glad it is Saturday
But, the bottom line is, I can see! I haven't quite adjusted to the reality of it yet. I feel like I have contacts in. In fact, since they are frequently dry and gritty right now, I feel like I have contacts in and I need to take them out. It is really neat to wake up seeing and to be able to see in the shower. I know I drive better because I have more vision all around. The vision still has some halo effect around bright lights and it makes pretty rainbows. I really wouldn't mind if that stuck around. It is a pretty effect!! It is supposed to go away as the eyes heal more.
There was no pain involved in the surgery at all. The machine that lasers the cornea puts a little thing down on the eyeball and pushes and made me see stars and didn't feel comfortable, but it wasn't pain at all. The actual procedure was really bizarre because I could see him painting or swabbing my eyeball like you can see someone polish the lens on a camera on TV, but I couldn't feel it at all. It was a real disconnect to see it happening and know he was touching my eyeballs but it wasn't weird at all. I walked in the front door of their office at 1:15 and walked out at 1:35. How is that for speed? Amazingly fast. My friend El took me and brought me home. Such a good mother, she let me go to sleep and she cooked spaghetti and spaghetti sauce and cleaned the kitchen.
I slept from 3 pm until 9 am the next morning except for getting up about 1 a.m. and eating some of her good spaghetti and watching American Idol. My friend Will didn't make it past this week. I'm sorry he didn't make it into the top 12, but I've learned since that he would be under contract for 3 years to Idol if he had made the Top 12. I think it will be better for him to lose at this point than in a week or two. There is no way he would have won the competition completely so he got out at a good point.
This has also been a week of worrying over my Dad. I went back up there and saw them over the weekend. This week they've had all sorts of appointments with oncologists and other doctors about his upcoming radiation. Thank goodness my sister is there to go with them. They are both so scattered I don't know that they have a clue what they will be doing next week. The news seems to be worse and worse. The first doctor had said Dad would only need the pill form of chemo, now it will be intravenous and he'll have four hours of that a week for six weeks and then radiation every single day Mon-Fri for six weeks. This next week he has to have surgery to install a port for the chemo and a "plug" to feed him directly into the stomach if his mouth is too tender from the chemo and radiation to eat. I am so worried that Daddy is just going to be miserable. And he isn't a "look at the bright side" kind of guy. I'm afraid he will get down and miserable and just lower his resistance and not fight. I wish I could be up there to help them through some of this, but I always feel that I'm not much of a help like my sister is. She is a real take charge person and I am not. I would like to be there Monday for the surgery or next week for the first day of chemo and radiation, but I don't know if that would do any good and I may be needed more later. I just don't know.
I went to see the sound healer again this week and worked on my voice again. It hasn't been so great today so I don't know if it helped or not. But it has been working this week and I've been working it hard. I had to get ahead for the day of for the eye surgery and I had to get ahead last night for the weekend. This new station is really kicking my ass and I don't feel good about it yet. It is getting faster, though. I did whip through two shows last night in 45 minutes flat. That's good.
Mark is working non-stop. When I slept for 18 hours after the surgery, he came home and napped, left for work for 8 hours, came home and slept some more. I really hate that I don't get to celebrate my birthday with him, but I think I'm doing better with it this year than last year. I think I'll be okay.
My office is still a mess. When I see other people's messy offices, I think that I know how to clean them. I'd be able to sort through and make sense of it. But my office just remains a mess. I did pay a bunch of bills tonight and did finally get the tax information done and sent to the accountant. But I pulled out a lot of genealogy this week and it is scattered about in big piles. Mark is out of town for a few more hours tonight, though, so I will trudge on and try to get it more organized. I have a fantasy of working at a clean desk with fresh flowers (and I have those... got them today at the boat store) and a cat nearby (and I usually have that, just not at the moment). I would like things to be in their place and be able to put my hands on what I need at a moments notice. Paper for the printer, of course, it is right here. Scotch tape, yes, I keep that here in this drawer. So I will dump my trash and see if I can sort through a few more piles tonight.