Made the crucial mistake of drinking a coke at 9 pm last night and was up until 5 a.m. Did play the piano and paint which I've been wanting to do for a while so that was a nice diversion but I would rather have been asleep. Finally went to sleep and slept easily past noon, which put my day way behind.

The studio switch that was supposed to happen didn't happen, which was fine, I can wait. I did my work until someone suggested we go down to Fat Tuesday's for free barbeque. Several of the co-workers were there and we talked and heard great stories from our boss--he is the ultimate story-teller. Drank some there but still had intentions of going back to work.

From Fat Tuesday's the gang moved on to the Aquarium which is very nice. I hadn't been there before. It was practically deserted in the evening. It has the interesting feature of a two way mirror in the men's room (they tell me) so the men using the facility can keep an eye on the bar. Drank a beer there with the gang and finally decided I needed to move on. Not to go back to work at this point but to go to a party I had been invited to and was to meet up with my husband there. Headed down the street and allowed myself to be waylaid into Joe's Generic for a moment (I knew I'd already had too much to drink to so easily be swayed from my mission).

Got back up the street and put my work away and left. Found a grocery store on the way to the party to obtain some appetizer fixin's. I knew these guys throwing the party had no more idea of how to prepare an appetizer than opening a bag of chips. No Pickapeppa sauce to be had so I had to settle for pepper jelly and cream cheese and crackers. Good enough.

On to the party. I don't see Mark's car there but I stop anyway and go to the door. I stick my head in and find about six guys in the living room including my sweet husband on the couch. No women. It appeared to be the ultimate in "listen to the blues and drink beer with the guys" kind of party. I really felt like an outsider. I went to the kitchen and found a plate (after looking through three EMPTY cabinets--bachelors!) to put my stuff on. The sax player followed me to the kitchen immediately and kissed me and made me feel welcomed to this den of men. He, unfortunately, was leaving for a date and was saying goodbye. One of the roommates came in and welcomed me and talked and two new arrivals at the party (yes, more guys) came in and ate my appetizer and talked. No husband. I felt more and more isolated so I took my appetizer to the living room and made room for it on the table, said goodbye to my sweet husband and didn't let him know how alone I felt, only that I didn't belong and I'd let him stay and have fun and I'd go home.

If a night like that can go from bad to worse, it did. I decided to exit downtown, not sure if I'd go back and do some more work or go back to the Aquarium and see if my friends were still hanging out. As I exited, red lights come on in the car and it is dead but the radio is still on and the lights are functioning. I manhandle it with no power steering into the police department parking lot. It is overheated and steaming and dead. I look around but can't find a soul in their mechanics shop. Finally, an officer pulls in in her unit to get gas. I get help from her. She knew a lot more of what to look for than I did. The car did have fluid so it wasn't, apparently, a leak. Maybe a thermostat problem? Who knows.

Very kind officer took me home since she lives somewhere down this way and I'm stuck without a car now. I think I'll go drink some wine and keep this little buzz going. I'm angry at being alone. Angry that I don't have a car. Angry that I'm broke. Angry that I am not in control in a lot of situations right now.