Estoy Nueces

I am still incredibly cranky this morning. Mark's alarm went off way too early so that he could go to a meeting at work. I am at least grateful I don't have to be at a meeting at work right now. I do need to get ready and go to an eye appointment.

Well, crap. My cell phone just beeped at me that it's battery is low and I don't know what I've done with the charger. I hate when I get something new and I don't get it integrated into my life. I got that new cell phone a couple of weeks ago and I haven't found a "place" for the charger yet. I had it with me last Wednesday at work and now I don't know at all.

I re-read old diary entries last night and I seemed to always be depressed and cranky in them. I guess I named this journal Estoy Nueces for a reason. I haven't felt like I was sinking in a while and I hope I'm not now, but all this crankiness is ominous. Of course, it is coming along with good reasons to be down, so that is some justification.

The yoga store is having a half-price on beginner yoga again. I should take them up on it. Even if I only made it to a few sessions I know it would do me good. And I could go to the one closer to the house, I bet, and save me some time. And maybe it would transform my life. Who knows?

Why am I dreading going back to work so much? One, I need to make a decision about these windows. I have a client that does window replacements and siding and stuff. It was my understanding that he wanted to do something for me to show me their work as I do their spots. Now they say that it is only trade for my talent fees. There are still advantages to that (no taxes taken out of that income, no financing for the cost of doing it, if they quit advertising, my windows are paid for, etc.), but I am always reluctant to give up cash money.

Two, I need to work on logs. I was going to do some last night, but the floppy I had a backup on wouldn't work so I was stymied. I didn't really want to work on logs anyway. I think I'll take the laptop today and go across to the coffee shop and work on them there and be away from the fray.

Got an email from the Fat Man (is that his psuedonym? If not, I certainly know who he is) and he is not going to endorse one of his live clients anymore. That always pisses the salespeople off, but, I suppose, if he has a good reason for it, then it is what he has to do. I'm grateful that I've never had to stop doing endorsements for someone. Don't know that I would! I'm a whore in clothes, as one of my salespeople said one day (but she said it about herself, not me). Then, of course, there is the chance that they may want ME to endorse these people. Doubtful that I would if the Fat Man has had a problem, but here I am, worrying into the future. I need to pull out The Power of Now and read up on it again.

I am going to pull on some clothes and go for a walk. That is one thing I can control in my life. I'm not going to take my phone (since it is dying anyway) and I'm not going to take my iPod. I'm just going to go walk for thirty minutes and see if that clears my head. Then I'm going to take a xanax and go to face the world.