Estoy Nueces

I guess I've been feeling pretty good since Mark moved out since I haven't written here. He moved out on Friday the 6th, so the 5th was his last night here. We didn't have a tearful goodbye that evening. He was loading things and working and I left and went up to Threadgill's to see a friend and we kept the sadness to a minimum.

And I've seen or talked or texted with him every day since. I am looking forward to the days where he isn't involved in my life and I don't worry about him dropping in to get stuff. It won't be long.

Since I wrote, my poor sweet cat Wilburt has died. I knew the day was coming since he was 15, but still, so unexpected. He had a stroke and I probably wrote about that here. He seemed to be doing fine but he he likely was having some more strokes and was laying down more and more and couldn't use his back legs. I guess it was that same Friday night that Mark left that I got home from Threadgill's and poor Wilburt couldn't move his back legs and he had peed in the living room. I called Mark and told him the end was here.

Nine years ago when Nathan Jr. had to be put to sleep, I tried to find a vet to come to the house, but couldn't. Now there are lots more of them available. A very very sweet vet named Dr. Maggie came to the house and was as compassionate as they come and we had him on the couch between us and she made it painless for him. Poor sweet boy. I miss him, but not as much as I thought I would. I guess my mind is kind of wrapped up in these other changes.

I had to get carpet cleaners here immediately because he had peed and I scrubbed, but missed some of it. The men from around the corner worked and worked and worked. Tonight I got a little whiff of pee smell, but that was the first since they came on Friday. I hope I don't smell it again. When we have a damp day, that will be the real test.

Tomorrow a maid is coming over to clean and dust my house. I am doing a lot of things to change the energy and make myself feel good about everything.

I also went to Debtors Anonymous this week. Six months of CoDA has changed my life so much I tried DA and I believe it is going to be a benefit. First, it made me realize how lucky I am to have a job, have my finances MOSTLY under control right now, to have Mother with money to bail me out if necessary, and the value of this house and my retirement accounts. The people in the group were in some perilous situations.

So big changes since I wrote last, but I'm feeling good about things and my future. I wish I knew exactly what I was doing with this divorce, but I am getting better about making calls and asking questions and being brave and that is good.