I don't know if I just need food and am hungry (quite likely because I never did have dinner last night) but I feel depressed and scared and that sense of foreboding and doom is all over me.

I did get a lot accomplished yesterday, at least. I got the bathroom cleaned really well and got a lot of laundry done and the sheets cleaned and back on the bed. I baked bread. I downloaded music (okay, that wasn't on my list, was it?). I didn't do a thing outside because it was too damn hot.

I did do the remote WAY WAY up north at a cardboard home dealer and it was chaotic. The engineer kid didn't know he was assigned to this remote, so when his co-worker called to see where he was, he had a 25 minute drive just to get to the station. Then there was lots of traffic holding us all up in Cedar Park, too. Fortunately for us all, the engineer kid from one of our sister stations was already there and he stayed with the equipment and had me all hooked up and ready to go when I got there. Once we got going, it was okay. Talked to a sweet old man for a long while about old Austin things.

Got a complaint by email yesterday about us not booking a certain female country local artist on our music series this year. I wish I had a better answer to respond to her with besides just "we don't like her much." I'll find some way to finesse an answer when I get to the office today.

I think I'm feeling some of this black cloud because I've seen so little of Mark these last few days. That is always a downer to me to miss him.

And I'm down because of a conversation with my sister last night. My mother had her surgery on her breast on June 22 and she still complains about feeling horrible and having a big knot and terrible pain. After two rounds of antibiotics they determined that this was an allergic reaction to the dye that they use and that it isn't all that unusual, but she keeps complaining and she won't get up and do anything. Even Daddy said "I'm at a loss." My sister talked to her and said, "Why do you feel so bad?" and Mother said, "I guess because I have this cancer." Well, Mom, you don't have cancer anymore! It is gone, it has been removed. They are going to do radiation, but they have no evidence that there is even any cancer cells in there to be killed. Rejoice that you are alive and the prognosis is so positive! I pray and hope that I don't get into that victim mentality now or ever. I seriously think she wants more hospital time and sympathy and daughter visits to match what Daddy had. I am going up this Saturday for my sister and brother-in-law's birthday party and I will stay (if I can work it out at work) through Tuesday to go with her to some of her radiation.

Okay, now I'm going to eat something, take my vitamins, and not feel sorry for myself.