Estoy Nueces

I've probably blown my output this morning in emails to a friend instead of putting all those thoughts down here. This should be my first outlet, I know.

My morning, again, getting off to a slow start. Sometimes I yearn for a "normal" life (is there such a thing?) where my husband goes off to work early and I have the house to myself all day long! I guess I grew up with that as the pattern and I have a deep down assumption that "that's the way life should be." Every day this week Mark has said he needed to go to work early. And every day he's lagged around and left past 11. I never feel I can get started on my day until he is gone, so it puts me way behind. Stupid, I know. And on days that I know he will be staying home I have no problem getting started on my day. I just need to tell him to tell me that he's leaving at noon and maybe I won't piddle like I do. No, I know from past experience that when he says he's leaving at noon and then he leaves at 11 that that bothers me, too. I just can't be pleased. That's apparently the problem.

I need to do some work work this morning at home. I may have said that before. When I get to the office there are people in my office since I share it. The visiting begins and even if it doesn't, their presence makes it difficult for me to get into work mode and get done what I need to get done. There is a project I've been working on a year (with great long gaps of ignoring it) that I need some big chunks of time and concentration to complete. The office is not suitable for that. Last night I was thinking about it while I was trying to go to sleep and thought of a new way of going about it that may work better, but will require a lot more time and, again, concentration and alone time. I love being on the air, but there are so many days I wish I could just stay in my office and continue what I'm doing.

I'm going to get dressed and ready for work and see how much time I have left. Obviously, this pondering in print doesn't get the project done.