Estoy Nueces

I am very saddened that Johnny Carson has died. And surprised, since we haven't heard much about him or his health in the last 13 years.

It makes me a feel a little old, too, that he has died. How many adults are there left that feel like they grew up with Johnny Carson and watched him as much as I did? If you are 30 years old, he retired when you were 17, so you probably didn't get to watch him much. And, considering his last few years, you probably didn't think it was that funny or hip to watch The Tonight Show. That was something your parents did.

And it was certainly something I did. As a little girl, Johnny was my grandmother's best friend. My granddad was a truck driver and always on the road. Mamma watched Johnny Carson every night as she sat and sewed or crocheted. She'd laugh and talk about Johnny as if she'd had a good visit with him. On Friday nights, my sister and I spent the night with Mamma while my parents went to their weekly square dance (see? I did have a surreal idyllic childhood). So every Friday, we got to stay up late and watch Johnny Carson.

As I moved off on my own I missed a lot of years of Johnny Carson because, believe it or not, there were time periods that I DIDN'T OWN A TV! Yes, we lived in primitive times. And then there were the years that I worked at night and THE VCR HADN'T BEEN INVENTED (and, no, there was no such thing as Tivo either)!

But as I finally settled into routines, Johnny Carson was a part of it on many many nights. By the time he was getting close to retirement, I rarely missed a night of Carson followed by Letterman. I probably still have his final couple of nights on videotape somewhere in this house. It was a very sad night to ponder life without Johnny Carson. Leno seemed like a poor substitute and has never ever made me feel compelled to watch his show like I watched "Johnny."

See, he become my nightly companion, too. Three generations that loved to stay up late and watch The Tonight Show.

Johnny Carson never had the "celebrity" of many of the movie and stage stars of the twentieth century because he did not seek the spotlight and gave the gossipmongers very little to print, but he certainly was one of the most loved and most talented entertainers of our time.

I've become one of those "well, back in my day, sonny" kind of people, but it is an absolute fact that there will never be another entertainer in the style of Johnny Carson. I love David Letterman and watch him almost every night, and I'm sure tonight he will have a very heartfelt tribute to Johnny Carson, but even he can't compare. In this day of hundreds of channels to choose from and recorded entertainment at the push of a button, there won't be that connection with the mass audience and an individual entertainer on a daily basis ever again.

Johnny Carson will be missed more than I believe he could have imagined. I will miss him today and start looking for that last night videotape.