Saturday, Feb. 21, 2009 3:01 pm
Dismal
I went to see Frost/Nixon with my friends Frenchy and M&M yesterday afternoon. M&M slept through it. It was a very good movie. I need to go read all my history on that era again. I lived through it and watched every day of the trials through the summer, but I have forgotten a lot.
I ave had bad headaches just about every day this week. I can blame Friday's headache on the wine we drank Thursday night with the folks, but all the others are probably just stress, sinuses, and stiff neck.
I feel more and more dismal about my future at this job. I tried to imagine what it would be like if she were the ideal boss. If it were still just the two of us, I still don't think it is the job I want. I don't want to be lazy, but I do want a job where I am paid a salary and there are tasks to be done and my job performance is just related to doing those tasks. She does say thank you and appreciates me some of the time, but I truly need more validation. I will be doing some work for her today and I might even need to go up to the office to organize things. It is such a mess.
I want to clean this office today (oops, there I go with to-do lists) and remove all things radio related. I want to forget that part of my history if I can. Not the fact that I was in radio, just this last job. Even the good parts have soured.
Plans, goals. I need some. I need time to do that, too. Looked over the money situation and it disgusts me. I got a BIG check from this company I'm doing extra work for. Thrilling big check. I thought, "I will send this all to Discover since it has fallen from the sky!" Yes, but then I look at the facts and see our car insurance is due, I owe my mother money, and all the regular bills. With this, I can at least stay even and pay off my mother (part anyway) and then I think about health insurance, which puts us back in the hole again. Er. I MUST MUST MUST get health insurance nailed down this week.... possibly to start March 1? If that is possible, I will do it. It might be easier to get if I haven't turned 50 yet.
Now I am just rambling.