Estoy Nueces

Christmas Eve Gift! Mamma always used to say that. We never quite knew why. But we say it as soon as we can each year to beat everyone else to it.

I have had the weirdest, troubling dreams this morning. Not nightmares or horrifying dreams, just disturbing. I dreamed I was at someone's house staying the night and I was going to have an interview for a job, I think. Maybe the girl sharing the room was, too. She woke me up in the morning to get up and ready for the interview and I used the toilet and flushed it and shit came out from everywhere and I was slipping in it and just had it all over me! I went downstairs to complain and no one cared and I was cleaning up my face. There were sticky globby little candy trucks stuck to my pajama pant legs and I took one and smeared it on the clothes of another girl that was there since they weren't paying attention. She was mad and I said something about that first girl upstairs and this girl said something like "Well, don't worry, you aren't friends anymore."

And I dreamed Mom and Dad and I were talking to a Mexican man that I knew from a store or something and taxes came up. He was worrying over declaring some income and said that lots of Mexicans would keep a half dozen cows and raise them and then sell the meat to a fast food place for extra, under-the-counter income. I said I might have to try something like that and told him I'd lost my job and he was shocked and sympathetic. I introduced him to Mom and Dad, but Dad was reading the newspaper or something (ignoring us) and I said, "And Daddy died last year so he's just here because it's a rerun" and sort of told the guy not to pay much attention to him.

And I dreamed I was back up at the station, but not working there, and heard a guy on the Texas Sunday show that was new. I asked Pickett about him and he first went off on a tangent because he misunderstood my question and that frustrated me. Then he explained the he (P) did nights, but this guy was real good and just did 11 to 12 midnight or something. I said "Why did they need to hire someone?" and he said, "But he's live" and I said, "But I was live!" It was frustrating too.

Three dreams where I was in my current situation, out of work. That must be weighing on me as I hit two months out this week. I see that this says I feel "shit on" with no one much concerned.

My friend M&M gets me, I think. She called yesterday to make some plans. She read about cemeteries in LA and San Antonio that are decorated for Christmas by family members and are something folklorists are studying. We may go down and see this one on Wednesday. She said she knew that I would like that and "get it." She and I both like cemetery time.

I cooked yesterday. Lots and lots. Rolls and pie, turkey and dressing, sauces and salads, green beans and pea salad. It was quite a table full of food. Good thing Mark could taste it then because he's not tasting anything this morning. I hate for him to be sick. I hope he feels like going to the movie tomorrow. That will be the highlight of Christmas Day!

I got invited to a Christmas party tomorrow and couldn't figure out who it was from: Kim and Pin?? I only knew two names on the guest list so I wrote to one of them and found out she IS Pin. I didn't know that nickname. Cute.

I need to call Barbara and see if I am working at the Bazaar today. I hope that she says they have it covered. I have become one with my house this weekend and I like it that way. I would still go see Mark play tonight, of course, but I hope I don't have to go downtown and stand up. I'm sure it would be quite interesting and fun and I should just do it whether I call her or not, but if I didn't go I could do more cards and writing and website updating, which really needs to be done.