Estoy Nueces

The irritability of last week has continued. I do know a lot of it is the pills and I didn't take one because of that today. Yesterday was a very hard day and the anxiety was out of control. I probably should have taken a xanax or something, but I just kept bearing with it. Today was slightly better. Only slightly. I have been worrying about the finances a ton. How will we pay for this garage and bathroom project? The garage got paid today because they were done, but now they've begun on the bathroom. I keep adding and re-adding all the money we have and we don't have enough, but I do know I can borrow from Mother, I just hate to depend on that.

I got the stitches out of my head Monday. I also got a new night guard Monday so that should help me sleep better.

I'm stressing about the reunion, too, I know because I don't know how to do this book project and I don't know how much it costs and I don't know what people want, etc. I am going to tell them Sunday that there needs to be someone else to do the final stuff on it. I'll just give them the info.

Yesterday I was just below the HGW and that was good to see, but then I ate crackers and cheese so I was up again. Comfort foods. I don't know if I dare take the pills tomorrow or not.

I've been working on Christmas music and it is such a chore and it seems like even people at work don't understand how much work it is. I did a new 50s and 60s 50/50 program and Queen S the boss even said, Well that program already had Christmas music in it before, right? Well it had 5 or 10%, and now it has 50%. ..... You can't just play it 5 times as often. You have to find 5 times as much music and we just really didn't have all that much. It wasn't easy. And today I'm doing the country program and there is new music to add and it has to be listened to. It also is in a new database so I'm having to go through all the rules and recreate the whole thing. Bitch bitch bitch. At least I'm not having to talk to customers.

I know I will relax and enjoy life again when 1.) I'm skinny and 2.) the reunion is over and 3.) Christmas music is programmed and 4.) this construction is over and paid for. Right.