Saturday, Jan. 04, 2020 11:28 am

Happy New Year 2020

And a new year has begun and is already slipping away faster than I can realize. Sigh.

My New Year's Eve with my nephew and his middle baby girl was magical. Such a sweet, easy-to-talk to guy. I appreciated his candidness and his trust in me. We talked a lot about family depression and alcoholism and other struggles we face. And sweet TINY baby girl watched Frozen and the Grinch and played with the cats. I especially loved that she wanted to sit on my footstool and not on the couch itself. I was that same way at my grandmother's. She had two footstools and those were our favorite toys of all! One was big and round and solid and we could turn it sideways and flop on it and roll around the room. The smaller one had varying levels of tilt so we could pretend it was a desk or a spaceship or a train and it had metal smooth rails under it so we could push it around like a vehicle. And just sitting on them was way more fun than sitting on a couch.

New Year's Eve night was uneventful. The sound of fireworks was EVERYWHERE. I never saw any, but they were all around booming. I think I watched some TV. I know I went to bed and wrote in my old diary for 2019 one last time, meditated and prayed for a better 2020, held a $100 in my hand and wished for prosperity and abundance in the new year, and then read and went to sleep.

New Year's Day I heard from my neighbor/friend's daughter J and she invited me over to receive my Christmas gift from her. She gave me a beautiful plate with wildflowers/bluebonnets on it. I was very touched that she thinks of me when she sees bluebonnets. That was sort of a "me and Mark" thing, but I want it to continue to be MY thing alone, too, so I was pleased she still makes that connection. I am going to have a YARD full of bluebonnets in less than 8 weeks and I may be posting pictures every day to celebrate them being MINE.

She assumed I didn't have a gift for her and told me to bring a bottle of wine (which I did) but I had a little jadeite salt cellar shaped like a little roosting hen. I thought it was adorable. She and her boo have a thing for exotic salts so it truly was for her, not just anyone. Yes, I did order it last minute, but I was glad I had a gift.

I want to buy more gifts through the year for people when I think they are appropriate. I can save them up to Christmas or not, but I want to be less frugal and buy something when it isn't crazy expensive and I can do it.

She and I also had a long candid talk about her mother issues. Interesting to hear both of these confidants this week and to have heard from both sides of the story. I told her I was a little miffed with her mother myself and she understood. She and her boyfriend DID cook dinner for her mom and there were two other guests, just like I had heard it would be, before I was disinvited. So strange. And I haven't heard a peep from her, no response from my invitation for New Year's Day corned beef either. AND I sent her a lovely friend birthday card that I know has arrived and no thank you for that (I've heard from three other people that have received mail from me this week and that was fun). She posted something yesterday that made it sound like she was "memorializing" over her dead husband, but I truly think he died on the 2nd. But, whatever. I didn't send any messages of sympathy on the anniversary, no matter when it was. And she leaves in a few days (at least by Saturday) for her cruise so I won't hear from her again for a couple of weeks at least.

So I'm starting the New Year with grudges and pissiness, but whatareyagonnado?

My earache/ear infection is still a BITCH. I saw the ENT Thursday and this time instead of a firehose in my ear to clean it out, he used a VACUUM. OHMYFUCKINGGOD that hurt. He kept hitting those spots where I couldn't help but wince and yelp and jerk away. It was all self-defense. Ow. I hope we don't have to go through that again. He prescribed only drops (yay, no antibiotics internally with the resulting "mom flu"). But then I went to get them and they were over $200. WTF??? for .75 ounces (yes, less than an ounce). American medicine at its best. I didn't pick them up at that point because the pharmacist advised me to get the manufacturer's coupon online. I tried there, but the site was down. So I came home and continued to try and it still wasn't working by the next morning. I made some calls and looked elsewhere and my insurance did explain that $150 of that was just the deductible that I was going to have to pay anyway. Another $60 because it is a name-brand drug. So, with that in my mind, I bit the bullet and bought them and started them. I also did remember to use the medical spending account card so technically it wasn't out of my pocket now. This simple earache is over $500 now and heading toward another specialist visit in 10-14 days. I hope it is all cleared up at that point and he can teach me how to avoid it in the future. It is simply "swimmer's ear" (ironic since I never swim) and I need to keep it bone dry and free of fungus. Yuck.

After the appointment Thursday I came home and lit the fire and slept all afternoon. I really was feeling miserable after his vacuuming. No way I could have gone back to work after that. Yesterday I was better at work, though not 100%, and I made it through the day. Last night was "Dateline" -- my typical Friday night anymore, and then lots of reading before bed (reading Where'd You Go Bernadette and A Dangerous Act of Kindness).

Now the sun it bright and it is warm enough and I need to fill my day and DO SOMETHING. More letters to write, a brand new computer to set up, a kitchen to clean, etc. etc. I bought this new computer on a whim and expect to at least write it off on my taxes as my radio computer so I want to get it set up in the radio shack and see if I may like doing my radio show out there. I think it would all be super cool if I could make it cool and cozy and softly lit, etc., but I get irritated that I sometimes don't have that ability to make things look like I want them to.

Before || After
Older Entries
Home at Lunch - Wednesday, Mar. 04, 2020
Improving? - Wednesday, Feb. 26, 2020
Wiped - Monday, Feb. 24, 2020
Cat pissed and I am too - Saturday, Feb. 22, 2020
New Cat! New Attitudes! - Thursday, Feb. 20, 2020
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