Estoy Nueces

Tonight we had the going away party for the boss that is leaving. It was a nice party at my old cafe where I know everyone. It is always good to see them all. I should go by more often.

I'm glad the tension of the two weeks until his departure is over. Now we have the two weeks of waiting for a decision about who gets the job. It seems like one minute I am certain that there is no other choice for this job other than me, then I go through a LONG period of time certain that anyone but me will get it.

I became a little concerned yesterday during a meeting with the boss. He says he may split the position into a couple of jobs. One would do the afternoon show, the other would do more of the detail work behind the scenes. He and I had talked about that job a while back and the possibility of creating that position for me. That worries me because now I'm thinking that he probably wants someone else for afternoons but he's thinking he'll make me happy by making this a full-time job. But, what if I don't want this job. Would I lose the stuff I've got or be blackmailed into having to take this job in order to keep what I have? I saw him tonight and stressed to him that my number one choice is the afternoon job but I don't think he really understood what I was saying. Who knows what he is thinking.

I need to make my list of affirmations that reassure myself of my value. I especially want to be paid for my TALENT and not for my TIME.